day 218

this is the result of dylan, alone, while tess and i are doing the x-ray bit. but you know what? it could always be worse...

day 79

tessie's birthday! just one short year ago, we were right here:

and now, we are here:

(can you see what happened? i would have expected this with child #1 not #3. it's like we are rookies or something! ben was right there. he was so close. but. that darn flame! what were we thinking?! a one-year-old blowing our their candle?! that doesn't happen! but oh, by now you know my love of reality. tears are a part of life, and they're most definitely a part of tessie's life. my sweet, sensitive, little soul.)

happy birthday, sweet baby tess!

[update]

it pains me, practically daily, when another one passes that i don't have the time (or stamina) to sit down and spill my thoughts.  i know there's a few of you who read and enjoy my blog, but i have to selfishly say i mostly do this for me.  i don't always get a word in when i'm surrounded by my loving extroverts so i rely on the ol' trusty blog to help me work through my whirlwind of thoughts.

it's been weeks since my last post.  i don't need to apologize or say i've been busy.  that's a given.  actually, you'll never find me apologizing because the only person i'm hurting by the lack of posts is myself.

i have been increasingly busy, but what does that actually mean?  everyone is busy.  everyone is going.  work, school, partners, children times two and three, groceries, bills, vacations, hobbies - we're all filling our lives to the tippy-top with activities that keep us from any down time.

this past week, i finally finished sewing projects that i began this spring.  yep, nearly nine months ago.  instead of focusing on how long it took to complete, i'm focusing on the wonderful feeling of having a sparse sewing table - one that i can actually see the bare surface!

also this past month, i launched my super-official Facebook photography page.  i was dragging my feet because my webpage is not a-go, just yet, but i figured why not?!

i'm having a blast doing something just for me.  my first full day of shooting, i couldn't wipe the smile off my face.  i love capturing people and landscapes and all that falls between the two subjects.  check me out!  you don't have to have a Facebook page to view:

https://www.facebook.com/naturalphotographyak

i've gone on-location, visited lovely people in the hospital.  i've gone to homes and even - drumroll, please! - used my studio.  feels so surreal to finally have that space to myself.  i really could not be happier.  well, no - i could if i was shooting more - but there are not enough hours and days in the week!  dearest husband is still working 6 days a week and that leaves me one measly day.  you can imagine that he actually wants to see me too, not just the other half of me he sees in our children!

balance.

it's such an act, at times!

bless him and our children for allowing me to be me.  it's amazing how a few hours away give me the boost and recharge to be a better mama and wifey.  it doesn't take much.  it's funny though; i miss them like crazy when i see other people's tiny humans.  i giggle thinking, my dylan does that exact same nose wrinkle or oh, she's a little cranky like tess used to be.  tess.  tessie baby.

my chubby little sweet pea is approaching the 9-month birthday.  here, it crawled along those first few months, and now, it's just flying by.  she's so damn cute and squishy.  she's squeezing into 18-month clothes.  ugh, i hate to even write that!  her wrists barely push through the arm holes!  her cheeks are in the stretch mark zone, i'm sure.  she has 4 teeth, and she's crawling all over the place.  every day, the kids and i joke that we lose her in the house.  where my other two were like puppy dogs on my heels, she feels free to roam about.  and, she's fast!  just tonight, i was ducking in and out of rooms and hallways, trying to find her.  (i did.)  she eats everything and a lot of it, but i think that goes without saying…  she pulls herself up, stands at the sofa or against the mirror in her bedroom.  dare i say she'll be walking soon?

need for a transition?  i guess this is a lousy one, but -

we take the good with the bad.  always.  that's life.

my momma.  {i think it's no coincidence that i'm choosing tonight to catch up on my blog.}  she goes in for her final surgery in the morning.  reconstruction.  new boobies!  (she'll likely not appreciate that last remark, but hey, who doesn't like boobies?!)  love you, wittle momma.

she couldn't have had a better cancer experience, really.  her initial surgery was long but was a success. her labs came back clear or negative - or actually, POSITIVE! - because the surgeons removed all traces of nasty cells.  she didn't have to do radiation or chemo, and she even tested negative for the breast cancer gene.  truly, a miracle in my eyes!  i am so proud of her.  she was diligent with physical therapy.  i could see great physical changes that were making her happy, as well.  so, one more surgery, and we'll put this cancer behind us.

yes, we were blessed with tess anne, but other than that, i'm ready to say so long, farewell to 2013!

i found these sweet thangs, snoozing nose-to-nose in a very rare moment.  happened to have my camera at arms reach and was able to fire off a shot - waking him no-less, but anything for the perfect little keepsake.

baby 3 - half a year!

tess anne!  half a year!  goodness, time flies when you're giving zerberts on a daily basis!

oh, she's funny and giggly.  smiley and chubby.  she has the biggest belly laugh of all the kids - likely because she has the big kids causing those fits!  she squeals and screeches and shrieks.  she's the heart of our family.  the baby of the family.  the last grandchild.  they're all special in their own right, but i have a feeling (based on her arrival and weeks to follow) that she's always going to be a little more, extra-gooey, special.

six months.  she's sitting up (mostly) on her own.  consuming rice cereal with fruits and vegetables here and there.   bananas, most recently.  she's just beginning to pick up those tiny puffs; so neat to watch those fine motor skills at such an early age.      

first nap with her big sis

first sink bath
{makes me think of all the pre-thanksgivings
where i discovered a turkey defrosting in the sink... no?!}

fell asleep while i was making dinner

and like so many posts from the past, so much time has gone by - she's now 7 months old!  sheesh!  i will say not only have i been too busy to blog, but i've been busy doing so many things i love... traveling, sewing projects, taking pictures, enjoying our amazing autumn.  jack's birthday is days away, and i always love planning their parties - shopping, decorating and envisioning their adorable faces, tearing into their gifts.

but, tess!  i started this post, saying how she was practically sitting up on her own.  well now, she's close to crawling.  up on all fours, rocking back and forth.  she's kinda army crawling, too.  she's never in the same place that i plop her down.  she sleeps on her side and her belly mostly.  oh - and she has two teeth!!!  i say this with three exclamation points because i just found out she has them.  ugh, she's SO the third child.  in for vaccines yesterday, the doc asked if she had teeth yet.  i confidently replied no.  well, a look with the ol' tongue depressor and presto - she has two!  to my own defense, she loves her pacifier.  my window into her mouth is limited, alright?!

 6 month photos on an incredible autumn afternoon 

 7 months!

 can we please talk about her double chin?  

 will forever be a favorite picture.

you can practically hear her, right?!

it's hard to believe we're moving into her 8th month.  the big kids are likely more excited than i am with all her new moves.  they encourage her to crawl, constantly moving her toys just out of her reach, and they take turns feeding tess her rice cereal.  i know i've said it before - the best gift you can give your kids are siblings.  i love the bond they're creating.

      

feels like yesterday...

tess, 5 months

oh, how can this be?!  5 months have passed already.  i'm saying this a lot sooner than i thought i would, but i think because she's so dang happy and smiley, it's been easy to forget our rough start.  every day, i'm so thankful for her presence.

{i need to add, my mom made the striped shirt she's wearing above... for me, in 1980.}

during those foggy and frazzled weeks, my herbalist told me:  your hard times will likely be harder, but your sweet times will most definitely be sweeter.  her wise words fill me with appreciation and giddiness because it's the truth!  there really isn't much that upsets her these days, besides the normal feed-me, change-me, and ok, please-walk-around-with-me type situations.  she's pretty dang sweet.  so sweet the big sibs can't stop smooching her (ok, me too) throughout our days.

gosh, i love her.  and him.

her eyes are slowly changing; brown filling the center, spilling gray to the outsides.  she's ready for a haircut.  she doesn't like peaches but loves green beans.  she's a drooly, drooly mess.  her eyelashes are long and enviable.  and this month, she found her toes!      

twinsies.

seesters.

four months

tess is 4 months old.  actually, she's nearly FIVE months old - whew!  time sure flies when babies are happy.  we've had so much fun these past few months.  she's turned into this giggly, wiggly, drooly little (chubby) baby girl!  

she can't keep her hands, fists, fingers, thumbs outta her mouf!  poor thing.  she sprouted a tooth a few weeks back; she rolled over this past tuesday night, and she's tasted her first few tablespoons of rice cereal.  i kinda forgot how much they grow and change in this first year.  so many milestones in such a short amount of time.    

i'm sure i've said it 1,000 times, but she loves her brother dearly.  and, that's not to say she doesn't love her big sis, it's just that, well, dyl is three.  and, she's a tad nuts.  and, she doesn't know when to calm down; in her face, poking, being too loud, too crazy, and well, baby t lets her know to move it along!  i know that before long, these two stunners will be tag-teaming on big bro, but until then, it's the brown-haired beauties against the red.

 great grandma & tess

not a fan of the rice cereal, just yet.

tess loves her little einstein exersaucer.  she spend time jumping, staring at the many colorful hanging rings and hitting the music buttons.  she also has an activity mat to lay on, roll over on and drool all over.  she's already a mover, too - i find her spun 180 degrees or even off the mat at times.  of all my babies, she's been super-happy during tummy time.  it's fun to see the similarities and compare differences!  they definitely look like siblings, but they are their own special being.  and, i can't believe how much i love them all.  my heart is overflowing.

 

three month update

ahhh, 3 months.  everyone said this would be a great month for a turnaround.  and, they were right.  baby tess is coming out of her shell - hatching, rather, as i recently read an article on this very topic.  something about the 3-4 month mark brings your baby out of her(him)self and into our wonderful world.  like, for instance, this happened last week:

 
she hasn't allowed ben to hold her up until this point.  well, she's allowed but not without screaming and turning purple.  she's had her nightly holding with dada and while it doesn't last as long as dada & dylan time (that's stronger than ever) everything with tess has been baby steps.  funny one, she is...

but oh!  look how big!

at her 3 month check up, she weighed in at a whopping 16.4 pounds, which did not register on the graph - yep, she's off the chart for weight.  huh.  she measured 25 inches for length which puts her in the 95% for height.  and lastly, her cute noggin measured 16 and a quarter around.  bing!