august - the lost month

i registered for the half marathon in august, i think, the day after i completed the half marathon in june.  i was pumped, confident and even with our upcoming sheep hunt and our scheduled return the day before race day, i thought i would still be able to complete it.  well, getting pregnant kinda put a kink in my second half marathon of the year goal.  i backed out of the sheep hunt the day before we were scheduled to leave.  i switched my half marathon registration to a 5k.  i thought running 13.1 miles might be a little much, but i thought for sure i could complete 3.1 measly miles.

ha.

if eating saltines and sucking on hard candy, the entire drive into anchorage at 8 am were any indication, we would have been smart enough to just turn the rig around.  (or rather, why did we even bother to leave the house?!)  

we parked, and we walked a few blocks.  my stomach was rolling, waves of nausea crashing like a hard bering sea storm, the entire morning.  not looking good.  my uncle bob, who was meeting us there, called as we were making our walk to the starting line.  he was still blocks away and wasn't sure if we'd see each other before the race start.  he asked if i'd be up for breakfast afterwards, and the mere thought of french toast dripping with maple syrup got me.  you had me at breakfast.  i turned on my heels, ben laughing in my dust.  no more 5ks would be run this year.  time to focus on another sort of endurance race... one still months and months away but takes that long to prepare for.  you feel me?

  

walking back to the truck, post "nonrace"

breakfast was a much better idea.

(notice: i'm so embarrassed about skipping the race that i had to change my running shirt.)

a few days later, feeling a little less queasy, we ventured out to reflections lake.  i think by this point, i had laid in bed for umpteen days in a row and decided it might help to catch a few rays and stretch my legs.  it was a perfect fall day for a leisurely stroll.  

i can't help myself.

my baby boy is FIVE.  it's really hard to believe five years have passed.  that means we're ALL five years older, by the way.  sheesh.

yep.  i just can't help myself.  i pulled out the cd of my mother's pictures from her six-week stay when i was pregnant, then labor & delivery and the weeks adjusting to life as a mama.

ben caught me in the middle of all of this, stating, oh, no.  i've found you in a puddle of tears.  i can't help but reflect.  so.  i'm going to bring you on a little tour as well.  please exit right if you choose not to travel back in time with me...

first glimpse, gaze, tears, emotion

photos like these are priceless (even if i cringe when i look at myself!)

minutes old

 natural feeder

day one and day two

 circumcision day

tough one for me... and likely jackie, too.

 day 5

my jaundice babe

 uncle jeff and jb, 6 days old

my auntie and my cousin, look at jb's first giggle!

and now...

he's this big.  

climbing mountains and takin' names.  

this past year has been an incredible year of growth for the little man.  not just physically; i'm mean, it's obvious the boy is growing.  he barely was wearing size 5s before i was scrambling to find jeans and sweatpants that didn't look like high waters on him.  he's a six with a little leg room.  he's one of the tallest in his gymnastics class of 4 and 5 year olds.

but the physical stuff hasn't ever mattered so much to me.  our struggle has always been the defiance.  the stubborn tendencies.  strong-willed is more like it.  he's been a tough one, but this past year has been a huge turn around for mr. jack.  his maturity shows through every day when he's setting positive examples for his little sister.  his desire to nurture and care for her is eye-opening and still takes me by surprise.  he's eager to show her the "right way" of playing with his duplo blocks or building the "correct" set of train tracks.  we've finally reached the point of more good days strung together than bad days.

we had a mini party last night for jb.  nana lynn drove out, bearing new puzzles for both kiddos.  whatta treat for dyl.  papa frank surprised jackie with a trip to ak.  ben arrived home later than usual but we still enjoyed pizza, ice cream sundaes and presents.

because it's so fun to celebrate birthdays, we had to bring cupcakes to school so all the kiddos could sing happy birthday.  (can you really sing it enough?!)  i ordered vanilla cakes with vanilla frosting - jack's orders, i no like chocyet cupcakes - with rainbow sprinkles and a red 5.  the kiddos loved the cakes and loved the treats that gramma d brought to hand out - sticky, wiggly geckos and frogs for the boys and rainbow heart bracelets for the girls.  of course, the girls didn't want to be left out of the sticky, wiggly fun, so thank goodness we had enough!

so bashful during his song

happy birthday, sweet jackie.  i'm so blessed to be your mama.

weekend in seattle

the first weekend of august, my cousin and i met up in seattle.  she flew up from california and escaped her two cutie pie children, and i left mine behind as well.  neither of us had ever been away like that before.  what a trip - in more ways than one!

the mini-vaca came together in a month's time, but that's probably why it worked out so well.  isn't it the hardest thing, trying to plan something when you have kiddos?!  the mornings i plan to wake up early and get out of the house, that's the morning both kids sleep 'til 9.  then, there's the mornings where i wanna be lazy, stay in pajamas until 4 pm and those are the days the kids awake with a fire lit beneath them at 7:20!  sheesh!  or, plan a play date a few days in advance?  someone's kid is gonna come down with a cold.  never fails.

i digress.

this weekend was a blast.  we went nonstop.  we walked.  we walked some more.  did fun touristy things.  we went out to eat.  alone.  no kids screaming at the restaurant (well, at least not our kids).  we shopped.  we ate some more.  we met up with some of my dear friends.  took in a comedy show.  went out to eat!  (did i mention that yet?)  watched the olympics from the comfort of the hotel bar.  again, no kids.  alone.  as adults.  sitting back in comfy leather chairs.  wait, this trip happened to moi?  

i arrived in seattle first, at the unholy hour of 5 am.  sammi's flight didn't arrive until 8.  i debated leaving the airport, but what was i going to do at that hour?!  so i parked myself on a bench and pulled out my kindle while simultaneously inserting my earbuds to drowned out the airport noise.  yes, i was at seatac airport, but i was alone.  sitting.  eating my meant-for-the-airplane-candy at 5:30 am and not having to share a single piece.

sammi arrived before i knew it, and quickly we were off to our half-day spa treatment.  what a way to kick off the weekend - four and a half hours of being massaged and oiled and painted and lavendar-sprayed...  ummelina int'l day spa was just what we needed.

for dinner, we met up with a random group of my friends.  nobody knew each other - they only had me as the common denominator.  an alaska friend, two minnesota high school friends and everyone brought their significant others.  we met at purple cafe and wine bar.  food was divine, and apparently the wine wasn't too bad either.  after all the introductions, catch-up, funny stories and overlapping conversations, sam and i asked what sites were a must.  without any hesitation, collectively, they agreed we must RIDE THE DUCKS.

earlier in the day, from the comfort of our extra-soft robes and our tea wielding hands, we kept seeing these ridiculous boats on wheels drive down pine street.  the WWII vehicles caught our attention and had us intrigued, but honestly, our tour guide, made the whole experience worth it.  if you ever find yourself in a city with ride the ducks available - do not even hesitate!  and do yourself a favor, get on the duck with the wackiest looking driver (see below).  that's what we did, and we laughed out loud the entire 90 minutes.  we debated riding the rucks again, but we worried we'd end up with a dud of a driver.  best not push our good luck.  

lake union, in our WWII duck

(notice the other duck boats in the top right picture?)

OH!  fun fact! 

the bottom left picture - the house (grayish, blue trim) is where sleepless in seattle was filmed.

the blue angels were in town for seattle's seafair celebration

one of my favorite comedians, sebastian maniscalco, was in town for the weekend.  he was the reason i had booked this weekend for the husband and i to get away.  a last minute work schedule conflicted for ben, but i was still determined to make it to his show.

i first saw sebastian on vince vaughn's wild west comedy tour dvd.  then, i picked up his own dvd from amazon, and i could not even tell you how many times we've watched it.  last spring, he released a showtime special that was even funnier.  i cried-laughing through most of this stand-up performance and cannot wait to go to a show with ben.  sammi was not disappointed either!  she bought his dvd there, and i really regret not thinking to bring my copies!

chihuly glass

one of my oldest friends - from grade school! - now lives in seattle.  she came with us to the comedy show.  we hadn't seen each other since high school, so it was really nice to grab a bite, visit and have some (ok, a lot!) of laughs together.

on our last day, we decided we must take in the space needle.  as many times as i've visited seattle and even walked around the grounds below, i had never been to the top.  the views were pretty spectacular. it helped that we likely picked THE best weekend to visit washington.  have you not noticed the common theme of bright blue skies without a cloud to be seen?!

6 weeks pregnant and feeling divine.
(if i only knew next week was going to take a turn for the worse...)
first thing i bought for baby 3!

sammi, let's plan trip #2 - oh, wait!  i'll see you and your whole fam in a few weeks - DISNEYLAND!

month 4

16 weeks feels like a dream.  i'm still amazed at how you can be brought so low by something so teeny tiny, and then wake up on a random day and feel back to your old self!

it's been a few weeks now since my "3 pm wall" that had me stuck in a horizontal position for the better part of the afternoon (and evening, really).  i'll say it again:  thank goodness for mothers.  my mother just continues to bless this family - home cooked meals, grocery shopping, tackling meltdowns, watching both heathens while i go to appointments solo, standing in line at the post office for packages - the list just goes on and on!

mark and nana lynn have been right there, too.  watching one kiddo here and there; i just can't express enough how much it means to have help - and the mere fact that i'm accepting help!  i guess all of our lives are changing, mingling, overlapping, and i feel we're all finding our place.  i know my mother and i have had our share of tears and frustration at times, boundaries being crossed or not knowing where to step, but we are nearing the end of the construction (cohabiting), and i'm happy that we've all made it out alive, without anyone losing it!

i don't think i've shared all that much, but until my mother and mark find a place of their own in the valley, they will be setting up residence in the studio apartment above our new shop.  eventually, the studio will be my place of business, but until i have time (ha!) they will call it home.  i look forward to the day when i can walk out our back door and "go to work" but until then, the miebs kids can walk out the back door to gramma's.  that makes me smile even more.

as of this past thursday, i'm 17 weeks.  baby 3 is roughly 5 inches from booty to face - about the size of an turnip.  (but, the size of an avocado last week.)  i'm feeling some movements in the evening; a poke here and a slide of the foot or fingertip there.  i love this part of pregnancy.  feeling your baby inside you is like nothing else.  it's not like flutters or butterflies or any of the other silly things they say in print.  i'd say it's more magical, hypnotic.  the early movements will stop you in your tracks.  faint enough that you can't quite feel it from the outside so you will wait for it to happen again.  and then, later in pregnancy, those big movements literally stop you in your tracks, sometimes nearly taking your breath away!

again, i'm so relieved to have made it out of my bed the first trimester.  month 5 is just a few weeks away, with my 20 week ultrasound scheduled on my birthday.  how sweet.  i get to spend it with the babe!  couldn't think of a better gift than spending an hour with the little one.          

let's talk shop.

according to sources near to me, i haven't done an update in a while.  i guess like any construction project, these things take time - much longer than anticipated.  but, we are nearing the end!  a lot has happened; i've heard a lot of the action from my bedroom: hammering, nail guns, saws, strange men's voices in the early hours... i just have failed at capturing it all.

part of the struggle: it's kinda boring stuff.  seeing little blue boxes and yellow and white wire, tacked and pulled through the frame work doesn't make for pretty pictures.  i mean, it's getting us one step closer to completion, but i've felt silly (and lazy) about posting every. little. detail.

but, oh!  the details do matter so much.

september 9

shingles!  windows & doors!  stairs!  no more ladder to the studio!  and per my request, against the man's liking, covered stairs at that!  (because who wanted to shovel snow off each step?!)  it really adds some character and charm to this otherwise boxy shop.  i know the two different roof lines made a huge difference, but we both really like the look of it now.  

 september 26

insulation.  can lights.  fan box.  all the wire a girl could ask for.  

october 9

sheetrock.  mud & tape.  a shower base.  

kiddos are in the shower; the bottom right picture is looking into the future kitchen and closet space;  the windows look to the glorious chugach mountains.

benji's space is even getting a little sheetrock treatment.

dyl is standing on the mezzanine; the bottom left picture shows the future work space and              utility closet/bathroom.

siding.  completed shingles.  soffits.  oh, we're about to round third!

my phone is ringing nonstop - wood flooring ordered and at the shop for pick up.  cabinets at the warehouse, waiting for our green light for delivery.  decorative tile stones arrived this morning.  the garage has a pile of bathroom fixtures, just waiting to move into their new home.  my paint splotches are staring me in the face.  

my head is close to explosion with excitement.     

nnnesting.

apparently, everything shows earlier the 3rd time around.  i discovered a baby bump before my pregnancy test turned positive; i was even in the single digit weeks.  mood swings were earlier than that, so claims the husband.  (i still don't think i have any...  sniffle, sniffle, tear, tear)  and, one of my favorite phases of pregnancy: nesting.  oh, how i love thee.

i saved my most favorite outfits with both children, even putting dylan in some of jack's gender neutral-ish outfits.  i had a handful of sleepers that my {cousin's} grandma betty (ok, so she was everyone's grandma betty) had given me and those especially are very dear to me.  yep, teared up this time around when i came across those newborn outfits.  they're SO teeny.

with jack, i was very organized.  each tote held X size of clothes, but once i pilfered through to grab out the greens and yellows and browns for dylan... everything was garbled.  going through the totes, there were jack's size 3T mixed with dylan's newborn, up to 6 month sizes.  just a mess.

in my mind, i was thinking of the mess i had created.  i had been thinking of those damn totes in the crawl space, but trying to reign back that urge to yard them all up into the living.  it's too early; i have plenty of time before baby.  but.  i'm SO thankful i tackled this now and no later.  between the size of the totes, the size of the crawl space opening and my protruding bump, i barely heaved those suckers up.  yes, it would have been wise to wait for husband.  but again, that nesting urge waits for no man.  or woman.  you can't hold a pregnant lady down.

during a nap time, and the better part of the afternoon (ok, evening) i got it done.  started with 8 totes, ended with 12.  labeled.  organized.  even had a full garbage bag to donate to my local consignment.  score.  5 totes are already in dylan's room, which will eventually be baby 3's room, some clothes hung up, but mostly stacked neatly into the closet.    

during

 during

 ahhh-fter

what beauty.

 

so, the newborn tote, the 3 month tote, etc. hold both jb and dyl's clothes.  the only exception was the 4T tote.  apparently, i went nuts that size for jb.  or maybe it was the boots and bulky snowsuit.  whatever the case, dylan will also have her own 4T tote.  

i don't plan to save all these clothes forever.  goodness, no.  but waiting to find out baby 3's gender, makes for a little less planning in some areas.  however, it will be hard to part with a lot of these outfits though, right?!  so many memories!  maybe one (or a few) lucky friend(s) will score the motherload jackpot one day...   

[beloved] second trimester

ahhh, the glorious second trimester.  when you've had a rough start, these are the weeks you pray about.  focus on.  continue to tell yourself, if i can just make it to week 13 (or is it 14?) ...  well, i made it.  i actually came out of the trimester 1 coma just after baby turned 12 weeks.  thank goodness.  

i know the idea of bed rest sounds delightful, but after a few days, you start to go a little nuts.  the blue skies were calling to me from my bedroom window; i daydreamed of kicking around the orange august leaves and snapping photos all the while.  my body just didn't agree.  i'd think of taking a shower and then think better of it.  nah, i'll just shower tomorrow... but wait, didn't i say that yesterday?  or maybe that was the day before.  sheesh.

i have my appetite back.  not so many aversions as before.  energy to play with the kiddos and even do some house chores.  my mother has done an amazing job of taking control of the miebs household, but i'm happy to now contribute, and not feel like another child for her watch over.  (oh, but wait.  i am her child...)  if it weren't for gramma d, meals would not have been on the table for the month of august (and well, september, too), laundry would have been piled to the ceiling, jack would have not been picked up/dropped off from school, dylan would not be on her way to potty trained usa.  she even washed my husband's smelly work clothes.  she arrived in alaska, just when i needed her most.  bless her.

i had an ultrasound last week.  just so you know:  

i never grow tired of watching a salt and peppered, 

teeny tiny human swim around on screen!

perfect little baby.  only the size of a lemon, and yet, look how baby is completely formed!  it's amazing.  now, s/he just needs to grow and stretch, put on some chub, drink his/her pee and kick at my ribs.  and, can you believe baby has already learned to suck thumbs?!  i'm blown away while the husband just sees dollar signs on dental bills.        

this moment made me tear up.  see the middle of baby's face, that little white squiggle?  then, you see in the picture below, that the squiggle is actually baby's hand, brought up to his/her face.  the tech took these pictures in a matter of seconds from each other.  love the two different views.  

which thumb do i use?

and as you likely noticed, there is just one baby.  there wasn't even a trace of the other sac.  it's really mixed emotions as to how i feel and this tech had the same desire to have had another ultrasound a week later.  but, i guess this is the way it was meant to be.  i'm relieved to not be considered high-risk, continue with my midwifery care and have the home birth that i desire.  all good things.