it feels good to be a mama

one of the seven text messages i received yesterday was from my cousin, sammi, wishing me a happy mudder's day!  i never imagined to love a day (other than jack's birthday) as much as i love mother's day this year.  don't get me wrong, last year was special, but i imagine that as each year passes, and jackie grows a little more, that this holiday will become sweeter and sweeter.  and, speaking of sweets...

i received some beautiful flowers from jackie b. and a box of yum-yum-yummy truffles.  i did, however, have to bite into 8 of the 12 truffles to find the lone caramel, but i was determined!  just about made myself sick in the process, but as i was informed, it's my box of truffles.  

jack and i enjoyed our day together.  dear benji was working yet again, but i guess it made since for me to spend the day with my son.  and truthfully, i wouldn't have it any other way.  he woke around 10, we had scrambled eggs with toast and raspberry jam.  he even had his first taste of chocolate milk!  after breakfast, we went for a walk/run and when we returned, it was nap time.  i was pretty anxious for him to take his morning snooze because i had some grown up things to do.  i finally got the back yard fertilized.  and from there, i moved on to lacquering the dresser.  i have been doing like one task a week and to see that i'm so close to finishing... i'm so excited and proud of myself for doing this!  i did have a little snafu yesterday.  i noticed once i put the lacquer on that i sanded too deep in a few spots!  damn!  nothing you can do once this happens.  so i guess that drawer will go to the bottom...  still, i like to think grandpa jack would be impressed.

the flowers and the candy that "jack" got for me, needed to be picked up from the florist.  as i was driving into town, i spotted a lady on the side of the road, selling roses.  she had a makeshift table with every color of roses and a tiny umbrella providing an inch of shade.  as i passed her, i thought how romantic it is for people to see her and stop to buy their loved one a bouquet.  seize the moment kinda thing.  

after i returned home, i had yet another surprise waiting for me.  granddad paul had come for a visit, bearing gifts as well.  he brought me a bouquet of these beautiful small lavender-colored flowers.  you see them all the time, but one of those that you have no idea what they are called.  he also brought jack a large blue ball that is practically as big as him!  and the biggest, most wonderful gift of all - a rocking harley - not a horse - a harley!  it is so amazing what the miebs men can make with their hands!

shortly after paul left, ben arrived home, about an hour early - that's a gift in itself!  i was sitting on the porch enjoying the sunshine when he pulled right up to me.  i immediately saw him holding an ice cream cone in one hand so i leaped off the porch, hoping to snag it from him, as it was the best part of the cone, the last few bites.  when i came around to his side, he handed me not only my own drumstick ice cream treat but also a bouquet of flowers - from the lady on the side of the road!!!

i hope all of you mommies enjoyed your day as much as i enjoyed mine! 

thinking back

a few days into our parenting

two christmases later

man, it's hard to get anything done when it's so incredibly nice outside!  jack and i have been taking full advantage of this amazing sunshine: daily walks/runs, playing in the backyard, hiking... i can't wait until we can take him out on the river and watch him with his first salmon.  

on thursday, we were walking down knik, when i saw a big dodge drive by with a familiar fat head hanging out the window - a bulldog!  this bully could have been kage's brother.  he (or she) had a similar spot on his head, big flappy gums and the classic bulldog smile.  it got me thinking about how much our life has changed in just a few years.

i still remember that sunday when ben asked me what do you want to do today?  we had only been dating a little over a month, but we had already been talking about starting a family.  a furry family.  ben made a phone call while i got ready and within a few hours, i was holding our soon-to-be.  he was incredibly shy, would barely leave the breeder's side, but quickly warmed up to me, cuddling in my lap.  it was truly love at first sight.  when we came back to pick him up, he was pretty weary of ben, but within a few hours at home, snuggling, we were all incredibly happy and content.  

i still have such a hard time believing how kager's life unfolded and being ok (?) with his untimely ending.  we always envisioned him with a little boy at his side, hanging off his strong body, playing with his flappy pig ears and snoozing in front of the tv.  i guess now all these dreams belong in the paws of bella.  

friday, found us in anchorage, visiting the cemetery.  i know some people are bothered by them or do not hold a connection to their loved ones there, but i really do.  i visited grandma there with grandpa by my side, bring her flowers on a regular basis.  once it was too difficult for grandpa jack to join me, i continued my visits alone.  there's actually something very comforting being able to talk freely, cry freely and feel freely when you're "alone."  i think back to conversations with my grandmother and most of them were rather quiet.  we didn't feel the need to constantly carry the conversation with endless chatter.  certain glances were all that needed to be said.  she was always incredibly honest even if it were something i didn't want to hear.  it's so hard to believe she's been gone nine years.  nine years!  my life has done a complete 180 since we had our last face-to-face convo!  she would be so happy at how everything has fallen exactly where it was supposed to.

last ones...

too cute to leave out!

story through pictures

notice the sequence of events...

i heart ak

yesterday, we trekked out for our first butte climb of the year.  the truck temp registered at 72 degrees when we left the parking lot, making it a perfect day for a hike.   bobbie anne with her two little ones (madisyn 16 months, gaige 3 months), mandy and jack and i.  we turned some heads, let me tell you.  a lot of comments like, "man, you guys are brave!" or "woah, tough ladies!"  and after hiking, i concur!  about half way up, bobbie anne and i looked at each other and practically in unison said, "these babies could walk!"  sure enough, they were both raring to go.  we were very impressed with how far they walked.   and most of the time, jack would pull his arm away, not wanting any help.   hiking last year was nothing compared to hiking now with an extra 30 pounds on your back.  but, we made it, laughed the whole way, and were rewarded at the top with endless sunshine and endless laughter because of the tots.  this is the first of many hikes this year...