3 years ago today

It's interesting how days, months, years can repeat themselves. This particular day, rain and gloominess included, my family, friends and I surrounded the graveside of our dear Jack Corey, Grandpa Jack. I can't recall much of what was said, I can't remember all the faces, but I do remember being blessed with a mini air show. Everyone, including myself, all thought the person next to them had arranged this great sight but each head shook only to have a smile plastered moments later. Do signs, fate, meant-to-be's really exist? At that moment, I believed. The best part of it all was that the planes flew over just as the pastor was talking about the kind of character Jack was. This simple act was exactly the sort of person Jack was! Loud, humorous, and ok... occasionally inconsiderate, but really, it made the day a little brighter.

I do believe the hardest part about getting older is that you have to say goodbye to loved ones. It just isn't fair. There are so many things my grandparents are missing out on. Grandpa Jack would have loved to see his grandchildren with their own kiddos: Averee, Lyla and Jackie. And Grandma Pat would have loved to buy the girls matching outfits from Junior Towne, just like Lins and I always had!

Tomorrow is Grandpa Denny's birthday and isn't it so sad when these days come around to celebrate and they're not here to blow out their candles? Grandpa Denny knew and loved Olivia and boy, did she love him. Watching those two together made me sad that Jackie never had the pleasure of siting in his chair like Olivia so often did. So sweet. Quite the pair they were.

I have felt that since saying goodbye to the Corey's and to Denny that you feel this hole in your heart that you're not quite sure if it will ever close back up. When Jack was born, I remember feeling like I couldn't believe that my heart could love so much. So maybe it does close a little. Maybe there is true healing and eventually you can feel back to whole again. I love Ben more every day, thinking that I couldn't love him more than this moment or that moment, and I'm always proved wrong. Same goes for the Bubba. One month I think he has my whole heart, there's nothing more and then, there's an even bigger smile and something even more funny than his last act.

The best we can do is love each other to the fullest because you never know when your last visit may just be your last. That's a tough statement to hear, write and see, but it's the only way to never have any regrets.

So on this very special day, my heart goes out to all of you that have similar days you "celebrate."