i can't help myself.

my baby boy is FIVE.  it's really hard to believe five years have passed.  that means we're ALL five years older, by the way.  sheesh.

yep.  i just can't help myself.  i pulled out the cd of my mother's pictures from her six-week stay when i was pregnant, then labor & delivery and the weeks adjusting to life as a mama.

ben caught me in the middle of all of this, stating, oh, no.  i've found you in a puddle of tears.  i can't help but reflect.  so.  i'm going to bring you on a little tour as well.  please exit right if you choose not to travel back in time with me...

first glimpse, gaze, tears, emotion

photos like these are priceless (even if i cringe when i look at myself!)

minutes old

 natural feeder

day one and day two

 circumcision day

tough one for me... and likely jackie, too.

 day 5

my jaundice babe

 uncle jeff and jb, 6 days old

my auntie and my cousin, look at jb's first giggle!

and now...

he's this big.  

climbing mountains and takin' names.  

this past year has been an incredible year of growth for the little man.  not just physically; i'm mean, it's obvious the boy is growing.  he barely was wearing size 5s before i was scrambling to find jeans and sweatpants that didn't look like high waters on him.  he's a six with a little leg room.  he's one of the tallest in his gymnastics class of 4 and 5 year olds.

but the physical stuff hasn't ever mattered so much to me.  our struggle has always been the defiance.  the stubborn tendencies.  strong-willed is more like it.  he's been a tough one, but this past year has been a huge turn around for mr. jack.  his maturity shows through every day when he's setting positive examples for his little sister.  his desire to nurture and care for her is eye-opening and still takes me by surprise.  he's eager to show her the "right way" of playing with his duplo blocks or building the "correct" set of train tracks.  we've finally reached the point of more good days strung together than bad days.

we had a mini party last night for jb.  nana lynn drove out, bearing new puzzles for both kiddos.  whatta treat for dyl.  papa frank surprised jackie with a trip to ak.  ben arrived home later than usual but we still enjoyed pizza, ice cream sundaes and presents.

because it's so fun to celebrate birthdays, we had to bring cupcakes to school so all the kiddos could sing happy birthday.  (can you really sing it enough?!)  i ordered vanilla cakes with vanilla frosting - jack's orders, i no like chocyet cupcakes - with rainbow sprinkles and a red 5.  the kiddos loved the cakes and loved the treats that gramma d brought to hand out - sticky, wiggly geckos and frogs for the boys and rainbow heart bracelets for the girls.  of course, the girls didn't want to be left out of the sticky, wiggly fun, so thank goodness we had enough!

so bashful during his song

happy birthday, sweet jackie.  i'm so blessed to be your mama.