bed rest.

it sounds so dreamy and like something every over-worked, exhausted, fatigued, mother - nearly-9-months-pregnant-mother, at that - would love to endure.  a sort of twisted vacation, if you will.  but, the reality of it is just not so; it's kinda the pits.

i'm on day 3 of bed rest.  i'm finding it challenging to stop the mental lists from tallying up; to push aside the what-ifs that start at the midnight hour; to be ok with just laying around while someone else cares for my children.

over the past 9 months, having my mother around has been a huge help.  jb would not have started gymnastics last fall if she had not been here.  and, while that seems like something so trivial, it's always the little things that make such a difference, right?  nana lynn's house building project is nearing the end, so in a matter of a year, i will have gone from just my two helping (ok, so it's more like wrangling) hands to two addition sets!  i know you mamas out there would love to have an extra pair (ok, so realistically, they'd be attached to your body, but stay with me here...)  it's times like these where i'm so thankful and humbled and - i just have to get over myself.

i don't think of myself as a controlling person, but i think when you step into the role of mom, and stay-at-home mom, at that, i think it's pretty likely that you'll form your own routines, you'll know what works purely by the ol' trial and error technique, and it's easy to get set in those ways.  ben parents sooo differently than me (that so could have had another 5 o's, for sure), and we've come along way - i've come along way - in letting him do his thing, while i do mine.  

as much as i want to complain, i know this could all be so much worse.  i'm 35.2 weeks, and i will be on bed rest until week 37.  after that, i'm free to roam about the cabin house.  i can get back to nesting and nursery-making.  ben and i can finish our bedroom wall display that has been, like, 5 years in the making.  i wanted to organize all my fabric that is nearly taking over a corner of our bedroom.  but, all that will have to wait.  as of today, i've downloaded new apps for my phone, synced my itunes account, filled my dvr with movies, and i'm up to date in baby 3's book.  i need to slow it down and save some mind-numbing fun for later.  like, tomorrow and the next day.  and the day after that...

my midwife came for a home visit today.  while it would have been nice to get out of the house, grab an iced latte and visit with her at the birth center, it was rather comfy & cozy meeting in my bed.  she informed me that my bed rest extends only to bathroom breaks and showers - every 3 days.  sheesh.  i've got my herbs on hand for keeping my contractions at bay, but so far, any movement sets off that oh-so-important muscle.  it's nice to be assured that my body remembers what to do but just not yet.

here's to a quick two weeks!  

33 weeks.

i'm 8 months already.  that's 8 months down, 2 to go.  40-some odd days left.  maybe.

i'm feeling large.  waddle-ly.  i go from uncomfortably full to a crazy-famished stupor in a 5-minute period.  i've been measuring a week and a half ahead for several months now... maybe i'll be lucky enough to go early.

ah.

that's it - i've jinxed myself.  but, i would like to put it out there in the blogosphere that i've gone on a due date, and i've gone 13 days late.  i think it's time to go a little early - for everyone's sake - especially my dear husband's.

i keep a fairly clean home.  i know everyone warned me that this habit would fall to the wayside once i brought kids into the mix, but if anything, i've just become a little more ocd, with a droplet of neuroticism when it comes to germs, sanitizing and overall order.  

there's no way to keep on top of the mess the kiddos create with all their trucks (jb), puzzles, books, purses & doo-das (dyl), and of course the plethora of blankies and lovies that get dragged out during the day.  i can deal with that because both kids are great at cleaning up after themselves.  

but.

the dusting has always been my kryptonite.  i remember so far back as to bargaining with my brother "matt, i'll do everything else, if you just do the dusting..."  i guess i still have some years before i can do that with the kids.  

yesterday, it hit me like a mack truck:  lights, plants, cabinets, fans, vents.  must.  clean.  now.  i spent nap time and well into the dinner hour, cleaning my kitchen, top to bottom.  well, no.  not quite bottom.  i noticed when i was pulling out my pots and pans for dinner that the cupboards needed to be vacuumed inside.  that will just have to wait for a later date.  gotta save some fun for later...

i just about worked myself into labor.  i wouldn't know this for many hours later, of course.  i took apart my pendant lights, dusting the fixtures all the way up to our vaulted ceiling.  it was at this time, i noticed the ceiling fans - got those, too.  then, while i was up on my pedestal (see: stool) i caught glimpse of my philodendrons - oh, the humanity.  i usually clean these buggers when i can place them on the deck and shower them off with the garden hose.  but, my deck is covered with snowfall.  and it's only 20+ degrees outside.  so what did i do?  cleaned what i could in the sink, and then, wiped off each individual leaf while sitting on my bum.  the kids came in and out of the kitchen with their own versions of WTH! while i joyfully wiped and listened to iTunes for the better part of the afternoon.  feeling quite serene and collected.  oh, the insanity of a pregnant woman.  

i finished my chores for the day (ok, evening) by vacuuming and wiping down the tops of the cupboards and the large vents in the hallways and bedrooms.  up went the plants, back to their warm and cozy home, pretty leaves glistening with newfound sheen.

after dinner clean up, bedtime stories, toof brushing and smooches, i spent the evening, counting my braxton hicks and wondering if my water was going to burst.  pressure.  oh, the pressure!  my night ended with husband patting me on the head and tucking me into bed.  he made me promise to sit on my butt today.  hence, a blog post!

the cabinets sure are calling me today though...

zoo.

we've been waiting to take in the zoo this winter.  i kept telling the kiddos as soon as the temps were above freezing, we'd venture around on an afternoon.  finally!

37 degrees and even a little snowfall.  we skipped nap time, and even through a few fallen tears and minor meltdowns, we enjoyed our afternoon.  {and, mama enjoyed the early bedtime!}

there's something magical about fresh air.  it just does something to these kids.  putting aside the springtime arrival of baby 3, we all are ready for the clear sidewalks, 50 degree weather and ditching the bogs; cabin fever has taken its toll on us!

5-some years of being a mother, and my heart still grows with love for these beings.