bed rest.

it sounds so dreamy and like something every over-worked, exhausted, fatigued, mother - nearly-9-months-pregnant-mother, at that - would love to endure.  a sort of twisted vacation, if you will.  but, the reality of it is just not so; it's kinda the pits.

i'm on day 3 of bed rest.  i'm finding it challenging to stop the mental lists from tallying up; to push aside the what-ifs that start at the midnight hour; to be ok with just laying around while someone else cares for my children.

over the past 9 months, having my mother around has been a huge help.  jb would not have started gymnastics last fall if she had not been here.  and, while that seems like something so trivial, it's always the little things that make such a difference, right?  nana lynn's house building project is nearing the end, so in a matter of a year, i will have gone from just my two helping (ok, so it's more like wrangling) hands to two addition sets!  i know you mamas out there would love to have an extra pair (ok, so realistically, they'd be attached to your body, but stay with me here...)  it's times like these where i'm so thankful and humbled and - i just have to get over myself.

i don't think of myself as a controlling person, but i think when you step into the role of mom, and stay-at-home mom, at that, i think it's pretty likely that you'll form your own routines, you'll know what works purely by the ol' trial and error technique, and it's easy to get set in those ways.  ben parents sooo differently than me (that so could have had another 5 o's, for sure), and we've come along way - i've come along way - in letting him do his thing, while i do mine.  

as much as i want to complain, i know this could all be so much worse.  i'm 35.2 weeks, and i will be on bed rest until week 37.  after that, i'm free to roam about the cabin house.  i can get back to nesting and nursery-making.  ben and i can finish our bedroom wall display that has been, like, 5 years in the making.  i wanted to organize all my fabric that is nearly taking over a corner of our bedroom.  but, all that will have to wait.  as of today, i've downloaded new apps for my phone, synced my itunes account, filled my dvr with movies, and i'm up to date in baby 3's book.  i need to slow it down and save some mind-numbing fun for later.  like, tomorrow and the next day.  and the day after that...

my midwife came for a home visit today.  while it would have been nice to get out of the house, grab an iced latte and visit with her at the birth center, it was rather comfy & cozy meeting in my bed.  she informed me that my bed rest extends only to bathroom breaks and showers - every 3 days.  sheesh.  i've got my herbs on hand for keeping my contractions at bay, but so far, any movement sets off that oh-so-important muscle.  it's nice to be assured that my body remembers what to do but just not yet.

here's to a quick two weeks!