day 59

where the heck is all the snow???

day 58

taking it extra-easy while the big kid is at school. dylan can watch movies with the best of 'em. 

day 57

reflections lake with good good friends on this unusually warm february evening. 

56

i don't hashtag, but i do love a good ol' fashioned title.

i'll call it straight outta camera

but, the young hipsters would say, like, "no filter" with a symbol in front.   

straight outta camera

55

gramma d & tessie.

they'll always have a special bond.  they're both 3 of 3 children. they both have an older brother and an older sister. they share big brown eyes and a joy for singing. and, they both have my endless love.

54

this evening, i'm playing catch up. newborn session edited. taxes done. the never-ending pile(s) of laundry have returned to their closet-homes. 365-day challenge has been neglected, but i still have so much love. personal pictures uploaded tonight. with dear husband gone for the weekend, working on his dear cabin, i expect to be up to date by sunday. 

and, because i just put it out there, i'm gonna hold myself to it.

baby tess. she's weeks away from destroying a personal cake.  

day 53

i recently read an article about living in the past. mourning a loved one, year after year, always "celebrating" their day of passing, and how doing so doesn't allow you to really move on. if i would have read this 5 years ago, i likely would have thrown it in the garbage.

something about this past year or maybe it's watching my children grow, this article resonated with me to my inner core. enough that, i'm still thinking about its words.

today marks 14 years since i watched my grandmother in her final moments. i was 19. has it really taken 14 years to truly move on? do you ever move on? i don't think so. for the longest time, so many years, it just got harder.  not easier as the years passed, but really frickin' harder. i missed her in every milestone. i missed picking up the phone and hearing her soft voice. i missed knowing her house was just a drive across town - so much, in fact, that i had to leave alaska - the one place i had always wanted to be, and now, grief-stricken, had to get the heck out!

but.

you always find your way home.

it's amazing how children can change your perspective. you have to be present. watch me! look at this! see, mama? LOOK! WATCH! (my momma friends get this...) coping with my grandparent's passing, my immense grief, has mostly been this private, dark thing. crying myself to sleep. putting on a brave face. all behind closed doors.  don't let people know! don't let down your guard! if anything, these 3 creations have brought it out of me. we talk about them because as much as their grandparents mean to them, that's where i was at with mine.  even at 6 and (almost) 4, they get it! is it really a shock that they would understand deep love?

that's what it comes down to. love.

i miss my grandparents so much it hurts. but it's that hurt like, uhhh, i just want to share the happiness in my life!  they're missing out! but my faith assures me they do know, and i know they'd be so proud.

day 52

these days, dylan is tutu-crazy. over jeans, under dresses, sometimes multiple tutus. they're scattered ALL over her room since she changes outfits throughout the day. 

just this week, i found a blue sparkly one at our local consignment store. today, jb mentioned that it matched his shirt, and as i turned around to reply, he was already stepping into it.  dylan loved that!  

(i don't know why she hiked it up so high... she's 3...)

i bought the girls matching tutus for valentine's day.  i thought it'd be funny to capture my entire brood with their respective tutus, but i think tess thought otherwise.  maybe she knew it was not right for jb to be sporting one... 

day 51

this thing is 11 months old! 

 {photo by jenna michelle photography}

how wild that time can creep by (those first 4 miserable months!) and now, i can't believe she'll be tearing into a cupcake next month!

she motors. crawls all over the place and at rather high speeds. loves buster's food bowl and dumping out any water that may not have been lapped up. she furniture walks and has even taken a few steps to ben and me. exciting times at this household! 

mouthful of teeth and a bellyful of laughs. she's growing up fast, but i'm thinking she'll forever be our Baby Tess.

day 50

dylan falls asleep on benji, and now, jb falls asleep while we're spooning. 

clearly, the world is coming to an end!  

this boy. 

he's never been a snuggler. he prefers to GO. but on this evening, with the girls tucked into bed early, we decided to let him stay up a few minutes late to watch some olympics. his viewing didn't last long - within 10 minutes, he had turned on his side and was exhaling those heavy dream-sleeping sighs. 

i savor moments like this.  breathing in the smell of his hair and his sweet little boy scent, i know one day before i'd like, he'll have b.o. and funk. until then, i'm thinking there's only a few more nights of olympics...

day 49

gramma d and dylan were out running errands on this afternoon. i was expecting them to walk through the door, but instead, my dear, cute husband surprised me. within minutes, dylan ran in and upon seeing her dada, jumped into his lap.  

we all watched as she snuggled in, then slumped over to rest her red head.  the clock was set to snoozeville. 

our kiddos rarely fall asleep like this. i silently cursed ben when he began to move her... 

 but transplant was successful!

day 48

chasing the beautiful sunrise on one of my favorite roads in the valley.  

day 47

ben likes to pretend he doesn't like buster.  he tells me his heart is only big enough for one bully; the one that he's loved almost as long as me.  he tells me things like, "i don't like him that much" or "you think if we put him in a box on the corner, someone would take him in?" or my favorite "he's not even that cute."  

i don't have to tell you that my husband is a HUGE liar. evidence below...

 bullydogs have the best smiles.

day 46

are you sick of sleeping bully pictures? please be honest.  

not that it would really matter because i just love my bullies and their precious sleeping habits.  

day 45

super-last minute. took jb 4 days to write out all his friend's names (and his name on the back of each one) but he did it and his v-day goodies are complete!  

day 44

my little editing buddy.  really though, i'd like to say it's being close to me that he loves, but it's actually any place in our home with a heater vent.  like the one directly under him.  

day 43

nothing like waiting until the last minute...

like we've experienced with halloween and the ever-changing costume in the weeks prior... last night, jb asked if we could make play dough for our school friends.  it actually worked out great, since we didn't quite have enough crayons.

red with blue glitter

purple with lavender & brown glitter

white with rainbow glitter

pink with dark & light pink glitter

the big kids love to knead the dough and mix in their "sprinkles," as they call the glitter.  dylan has improved on her snake-making, and jb makes things like snowmen and slugs.  great project for developing his fine motor skills.  

we use the recipe:

1 c water

1 c flour

1/4 c salt

2 tb cream of tartar

2 tb oil

food coloring, kool-aid (for scent!) and glitter, optional

so much fun!

day 42

this is how bad habits start - something cute NOW turns into something annoying and ridiculous later.  but oh, Thirsty Buster gets his hydration via Dylan's very kissable cheeks...

day 41

super cold, windy day.  we decided to forgo any and all errands/shopping to cuddle up indoors.

rainbow feet!  duey's idea and what a great one!

day 40

add: "sleeping in the sunshine" along with short walks in the back yard, finding crumbs under the kitchen cabinets and licking the baby's sticky fingertips to their list of favorite activities...

day 39

benji came home with the other half of the bison mount. you would have thought duey tagged it herself - think she may be our up-and-coming hunter of the family...

day 38

new car seat for tessie! you can see dylan's excitement in the extreme hand clapping. 

love these sisters.

day 37

it's almost valentine's day!  once again, jb wanted to make heart-shaped crayons for his friends at school.  and once again, he ducked out of the actual activity, stating:

it's too messy. 

that's where little sister comes in; she loves a mess. actually, it's really not messy, but the kid is still not a fan of anything odd or out of the ordinary on his hands.  one of our favorite expressions to date: 

my sticky hands are all sticky.  

he loved watching them melt in the oven and because of his extreme caution and attention to detail, he was a huge help in getting them out of the silicone mold.  

day 36

jack attends a charter school that we "pay" for by donating our time. being in the classroom isn't always feasible, so i was given the option of making their friday beans via pressure cooker.

i had never used one of these scary contraptions before, but i've come to learn and feel comfortable with the task. it's time consuming, but it's also kinda fun. i get in my hours and feel happy to contribute to his school day.

black beans.

dried onion.

chili powder.

cumin.

salt.

water.

i've been doing the beans since november, but it was only recently that jb witnessed me in action.  up until that point, he did not believe that i made them.  

nooo, they come from school.  they're school beans!

it was fun for him to help measure and pour, hear the whistling of the cooker and see them come out, alive and bubbling.  he now tells his friends proudly, 

my mama is the bean yady.

day 35

dueling baths with the girls.  jb has graduated to Big Kid and no longer bathes with his sisters.  i wondered when that would happen... would i know?  how do you know?  but, when it happens, YOU JUST KNOW.  not to be so vague.  but.  yeah.

my girls crack me up.  especially this thing:

day 34

tessie's room.  

lately, she loves playing in her room.  standing up at her toy box; pulling every single book off the shelf; purposely placing her pacifiers (say that 3x fast!) under her crib; attempting to open every single diaper and throw around her space.  

it's odd what can keep her busy for 40+ minutes!

day 33

this is my version of the perfect Super Bowl sunday.

day 32

saturday night, bowling with friends.  team miebs did not pull off the W.  (shocking, i know.)  as you can see, we're a family of amazing bowlers...

thanks for the picture, j!