un.be.lieve.able.

i had to take dylan into the public health center this morning for her hearing test. the midwifery doesn't perform hearing exams so this had to be done between 2 and 4 weeks. so. feeling pretty confident about getting out with two kiddos, i saw no reason why jack would be a problem. huh. i must have lost my mind momentarily this morning. we walked into the building and immediately, he turns into a class a terrorist. here is the rundown of the damage:

~ a child-size set of wooden table and chairs, tosses a chair over his shoulder, bangs into the other chairs
~ books stacked on the table, clears them off completely, falling all over the floor
~ toy box in the corner, lifts it up and empties all the toys out

all this is happening while i'm filling out paperwork. trying to fill out paperwork. dylan wakes up in the midst of this all; she's hungry, likely needing a diaper change and sweaty-hot in her outfit. i get her out of the car seat to find that not only does she need a diaper change, she also needs a clothing change. damn (but thank you me for packing an extra outfit!) i change her in record time, get her latched on, all while throwing jack the look and pleading with him to "be nice" and "please sit down next to me!"

i'm finally called back to the room where they inform me that dylan needs to be asleep for the test and that there should be absolute quiet. ummmmm, yeah...

~ jack was pushing a metal chair around the room on the linoleum floor causing a horrific screeching sound
~ pulled open a metal filing cabinet and launched several files onto the floor, sending the lady scrambling
~ ripped off 7 magnets from the front of the filing cabinet, adding those to the pile on the floor
~ another box of toys, emptied
~ sat down on the chair next to me, only to swivel around, stand up and attempt to rip the poster off the wall
and last,
~ he began marching in a circle

how dylan eventually fell asleep and completed the test is beyond me. i was seriously surprised that she didn't have hearing loss because how on earth could anyone fall asleep through all that ruckus?! once the test was over, i was able to put dylan back in her seat and begin the clean up of the room. about this point, jack opened the door and took off down the hallway which was probably a good 30-40 feet. i catch up to him just before he enters a room full of 4 people seated around a table. good God. hi, don't mind me or this crazy child. i'm trying to find his mother right now. of course, i didn't say that. i gather him up, go back to grab dylan and leave the building with my head hung low. real low. why. why oh why oh why.

don't you think it would have been nice to know ahead of time that the infant would need to be asleep? i'll say it again, thank goodness jack is so cute and so forgivable. he almost became property of the public health building.