- ben and i will celebrate our third wedding anniversary, with 7 years of being together
- the birth of our daughter
- jackie turns three
- ten years in february that dear grandma pat has been gone
- this is the year my father turns 60, and i turn 30
all pretty heavy bullets! the one that strikes me the most is grandma pat. i cannot believe it has been TEN YEARS. really? that just doesn't seem possible. to think of how much has happened in our world, in our family, all that she has missed... it saddens me to tears! i miss conversations with her. i miss hearing her opinions. i miss asking her questions and having her turn them back on me to answer for myself. haha mostly though, i miss sitting with her and watching the news. i miss sitting with her while she would read. i miss cuddling up to her under her afghan and just having her THERE. i miss her smell, her delicate hands that would trace circles on mine, and i miss the way she would say my name. oh, it's so hard to lose these special people in our lives! it's so not fair when they pass, but it's really not fair when they pass so young! we all got gypped!
must move onto a much lighter note. nothing has made me feel older than having jackie - but in a good way. i just mean that two years of my life have flashed before my eyes. he's already two! how can that be? i vividly remember the day he was born, i so remember our ride home from the hospital. those days and weeks of midnight feedings aka lovefests in the wee hours... it's so incredible how fast it all goes. it was possibly the phrase i was so sick of hearing throughout my pregnancy (besides the "have you had that baby yet?!") it all goes so fast. now, i'm one of them that reiterates the phrase. here i am, 3 months away from meeting our daughter. talk about fast-moving? where did the past 7 months go? it felt like an eternity with jack, where i would could the days of each week of pregnancy and be able to recite exactly how far along i was "i'm 15 weeks and 3 days." nerd. now, i have to resort to my fabulous iphone app that tells me what week count i'm in. this past week has been challenging because i've really felt that kick (pun intended) to get things in place. my goal was to focus on the holidays and really enjoy them, but i tell you what, the day after christmas, it was a good thing i was exhausted because otherwise i would have gone to town on baby girl's bedroom!
i did accomplish a few things this week though. i registered for some baby girl items and for the things i borrowed the first time around. we bought a crib, although it's yet to be set up. ben has been sanding and staining the shelves that will go in her room. and i've started to wash clothes and bedding that i've received as gifts (thank you, nana and great auntie micki). i'm picking out fabric tomorrow (since the stores had the audacity to be closed on new years' day) for the window treatments. and we're also in search of a mattress. i think babys r us will be seeing the miebs fam tomorrow. and once i find the perfect fabric, i'll be able to finalize my paint selection. i should have started with the fabric in the first place! my pregnancy brain is getting the best of me!
so papa frank turns 60 and mama annie turns the big 3-0. i can't say it terrifies me like i thought it would. i am actually open to it because what really does a girl have to lose? i will have my beautiful family around me, at my side. amazing friends. i mean, i don't feel 30 but is it suppose to have a feeling? i don't feel 20, that's for damn sure. and you know, thank goodness. 20 wasn't all that great anyway! or 21, 22. the idea of being older and wiser, bring it to me. i need all the wisdom i can get.
march 10, 2010 will be the day ben and i celebrate our 3 wedding anniversary. i can say i have never taken our relationship for granted but after struggling to find common understanding this past year, i certainly have gained respect, love, admiration and happiness in us, for us. relationships are not easy. duh. and when they get easy, it's usually because you're slacking in one area or another! any relationship, not just marriage, takes work. but that's a good thing because the rewards are so wonderful, right? things that are given to us never feel as great as when we work hard ourselves for it. i love ben. just when i think i can't love him more, i do. no one has ever made me laugh more; i've never admired someone so much for how hard they work; my heart melts when i see the way he loves our son; and it feels amazing to have someone love you when you feel at your lowest of ugliness with a big ol' belly, pimply skin and large brown nipples. (sorry, dad, if you're reading this.)
happy new year to you all! i am incredibly excited for all that twenty-ten has in store for us. i know a plethora of lucky ladies having babies and that alone is enough to make it a great year.
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