38 weeks.

i thought i was in labor on wednesday evening.  i started timing my surges around 6:30 because they were coming quick enough that i wasn't able to quite catch my breath.  i noticed my walking slowed, the surges were numbing the front of my legs, and i was having to brace myself at the kitchen counters.  i couldn't talk through them like i had been able to just hours before.  curious, i started my contraction app, and sure enough, these puppies were close together.

a few screen shots from my timing.

after a chat with my midwife, i determined to change things up and see if this was the real deal.  i laid down, and still, they came.  my potty breaks were more frequent.  i got sick a few times.  benji clorox'd the tub for me, and i was able to find great relief in the warm water.  i took a break from timing because it was just making me anxious.  could this really be it?!  it's like, you want it to be IT, but when it happens, it's a little overwhelming.  am i really ready to do this?  pushing feels good, but man, you gotta get through transition.  oh, and we know how transition is, like, the ugly, evil stepsister of labor.

around 10 pm, i climbed into bed and continued to have them, one after another.  strong enough that as soon as i would start to doze off, i'd get jolted awake to continue my breathing techniques.  this continued until 4 am.

when jb woke me at 8:15, this dread, this ohhhh, not yet, swept over me.  can't i just roll back over and sleep for another eight hours?!

the surges have continued throughout thursday and today but nothing like wednesday night - not as intense or as frequent.  i'm actually grateful.  it's nice to have a night off from work.  it IS work.  the adrenaline, the breathing, the focus... it all takes its toll.  i wanted to say it was all for nothing, you know, to wake up still pregnant, but i know this is all for the greater good.  perhaps, this just means my labor and birth will be that much shorter.  if i put in time now, maybe the final outcome will be minutes versus long, drawn out hours.  that's the way it all went down with dylan, so here's to a repeat!  i had a false start on april fool's day, and she was born 4 days later.  so perhaps, my 5 day countdown has already begun...

38 weeks